Introduction to Dating
The term 'dating' refers to a process through which a person gets together with another person to explore the possibilities of romantic and sexual coupling. People generally start dating in their middle teen years some time after puberty (biological sexual maturation) has started. The majority of people at first date in an exploratory fashion, forming intense but temporary unions with one or more people in series. Teenage exploration dating tends to turn into more goal-directed dating as people age into adulthood and experience social and internal pressures to 'get married', settle down and have a family. Though most adults do end up forming more permanent committed relationships (which may involve marriage and/or children), not all who do remain faithful to their relationships. Some substantial minority of married adults continue to date after marriage by forming adulterous liaisons and affairs. While many committed relationships do thrive, a number also fail due to divorce, death and other circumstances. The survivors of these relationships, bruised as they are, often find themselves motivated to go back into the dating pool to try their luck at relationship building again.People can be motivated to date each other for a variety of reasons, both healthy and unhealthy. People are social beings who desire the companionship of others and feel lonely without it. People are sexual beings who crave sexual relationships and the physical warmth of another body. People are romantic and spiritual beings who wish to care for other people and to be cared for by other people. People are also drawn to the intensity, drama and excitement that accompanies new relationships. Some people feel incomplete and inadequate as single people, and are drawn towards dating so they can feel more legitimate and less ashamed of themselves. Still others look for a sort of salvation in relationships with other people that they may or may not be able to find. Some or all of these motives, and more still, are likely occurring in the typical person who is interested in dating.
The term 'dating' refers to a process through which a person gets together with another person to explore the possibilities of romantic and sexual coupling. People generally start dating in their middle teen years some time after puberty (biological sexual maturation) has started. The majority of people at first date in an exploratory fashion, forming intense but temporary unions with one or more people in series. Teenage exploration dating tends to turn into more goal-directed dating as people age into adulthood and experience social and internal pressures to 'get married', settle down and have a family. Though most adults do end up forming more permanent committed relationships (which may involve marriage and/or children), not all who do remain faithful to their relationships. Some substantial minority of married adults continue to date after marriage by forming adulterous liaisons and affairs. While many committed relationships do thrive, a number also fail due to divorce, death and other circumstances. The survivors of these relationships, bruised as they are, often find themselves motivated to go back into the dating pool to try their luck at relationship building again.People can be motivated to date each other for a variety of reasons, both healthy and unhealthy. People are social beings who desire the companionship of others and feel lonely without it. People are sexual beings who crave sexual relationships and the physical warmth of another body. People are romantic and spiritual beings who wish to care for other people and to be cared for by other people. People are also drawn to the intensity, drama and excitement that accompanies new relationships. Some people feel incomplete and inadequate as single people, and are drawn towards dating so they can feel more legitimate and less ashamed of themselves. Still others look for a sort of salvation in relationships with other people that they may or may not be able to find. Some or all of these motives, and more still, are likely occurring in the typical person who is interested in dating.
Dating Rules For Women
Guys, if you don't like this, tough - look away now.
In another dating article on this site you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way women have some general rules that they should content with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different so don't take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published recently in the USA that sets out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy (or woman). Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's 1995 bestseller "The Rules," explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. I can understand why some groups would be hostile but the fact is when we grow up there are a predefined set of dating rules. All that happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21 and then find we need to relearn them.
I wish there weren't any general rules and we just got on with it but courtship is a ritual; there are things that we make happen that excite stimulate, create interest, confound etc. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together then the chances of long term happiness may be reduced. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work too interestingly.
In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date there are things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game then there are rules to that game and winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge so feel free to adapt rule and add them as you feel inclined.
Guys, if you don't like this, tough - look away now.
In another dating article on this site you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way women have some general rules that they should content with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different so don't take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published recently in the USA that sets out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy (or woman). Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's 1995 bestseller "The Rules," explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. I can understand why some groups would be hostile but the fact is when we grow up there are a predefined set of dating rules. All that happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21 and then find we need to relearn them.
I wish there weren't any general rules and we just got on with it but courtship is a ritual; there are things that we make happen that excite stimulate, create interest, confound etc. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together then the chances of long term happiness may be reduced. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work too interestingly.
In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date there are things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game then there are rules to that game and winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge so feel free to adapt rule and add them as you feel inclined.
Dating Rules For Men
You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.
1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.
2. Get your hygiene and styling sorted out. Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.
3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.
4. Get your knowledge levels up. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.
5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.
6. If you love your sport then fine,. If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.
9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.
10. Sort out your educational knowledge of manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.
11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.
12. Give up smoking now.13. Lean to dance even if you have two left flat feet. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.
You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn't dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don't be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn't over yet buddy.
1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike's out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.
2. Get your hygiene and styling sorted out. Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.
3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn't important. It is.
4. Get your knowledge levels up. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.
5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.
6. If you love your sport then fine,. If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.
9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.
10. Sort out your educational knowledge of manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.
11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.
12. Give up smoking now.13. Lean to dance even if you have two left flat feet. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.
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